he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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