is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
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