I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
