Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
as a side note pls kill me
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
My life is pants optional.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
