road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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