nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
if only i could text you this smell
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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