On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
