oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
