I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize