Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
