nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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