the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
