Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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