Having a random hookup so left but love u
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
