I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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