I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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