Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
