I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
