Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
