finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
