so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
