my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
my poor anus
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
