Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
