hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
