Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
