What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
