I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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