you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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