im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
is it fun? or sober?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize