So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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