No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
