they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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