Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
