I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
