so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
