The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
