just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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