All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Banned from zoo.
Again?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
You don't make any sense
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