party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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