This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
just tell him i said nine months
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
