I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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