I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
