Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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