Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
did i just pee glitter
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
