Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
