you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
When are your genitals available?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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