I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
