do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
