How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
