I hope mine doesn't look like that
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
