Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
