Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
