Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
