i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
