I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
