woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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