And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
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